I am five years removed from my time in the Georgia House of Representatives, and when asked to provide a blog post for this website, I knew immediately what I wanted to write about. My desire is to provide a warning for those new to public service about how easy it is to allow your life to get out of balance.
Although my story ends on a happy note, there were times where it was going downhill fast. I had to make serious changes to keep my life from spinning out of control.
In 2008, I was a practicing attorney in North Georgia with an incredible wife, two small boys, and a desire to serve my community. After deciding to run for office, I spent the better part of 2008 on the road, at campaign events, talking to anyone and everyone about why I wanted to be their voice as a representative.
I was the underdog. According to most pundits, I had no chance of winning, as a member of my party hadn’t won in my area in generations. On election night, with the exception of my opponent, I must have been the most surprised man in Georgia as news of victory rolled in.
After winning, I threw myself into the new job. I lived too far from the Capitol to commute, so I rented an apartment with other representatives on a short-term lease. We were busy from morning til night with breakfast events, session, lunches, afternoon committee work, and dinner and drinks until late in the evening. By the time I was back in my apartment, I had just enough time to read a few bills before collapsing into bed and starting over again the next morning.
Weekends were just as bad. Representing a large geographical area, I needed visibility in the district, which required my attendance at party meetings, fairs, festivals, and anything else needed to show my constituents that I was there for them.
I couldn’t go into a grocery store or Walmart without being stopped by someone and answering questions about the issues of the day. The more I sowed into my community, the less time I had for my family. Before I knew it, it was re-election time, and I pivoted from public servant to candidate once again.
When session ended, I poured myself back into my legal practice, as I had been absent for three to four months. The business was on the verge of collapse—with only a legal assistant to help keep the doors open, it was easy to lose clients—and I often felt like I was performing CPR. To make matters worse, even years were election years, so I spent free time away from my practice back into campaign mode.
My wife and I had a strong marriage, but I could see the strain on her face the longer I stayed in office. For the first couple of years my sons went to more political events than school events. In the fall it wasn’t unusual to hit three events in three different counties on a Saturday. I would often drive three to four hours as my boys slept in the back of the truck. I made only one of my oldest son’s spring soccer games. I remember thinking, “who am I becoming?”
By my sixth year in public office, I was exhausted, struggling financially, and bitter. I had been appointed to a leadership position in my third year, which meant that my days in session were even busier than before.
I started to notice a decline in my attitude toward other people. I was irritable and short tempered as the pressures of the job became almost unbearable. The time I had spent away from my family was taking its toll. I was ashamed of myself as a father and husband.
After my final election in 2014, I decided to make a change. Realizing my life was terribly out of balance, I decided not run for a fifth term. Almost immediately my life seemed to turn dramatically for the better.
I made my family my number one priority with politics coming a distant second. I began skipping non-essential political events to take day trips with my family. I stopped taking political calls in the early evenings and at dinner. In their place, we set up family time blocks where no phone calls or social media could intrude. In summary, I got my life back!
By the time I left the house in 2016, I had restored my relationships with my wife and sons, all the while still being a passionate voice for my community. I sometimes wonder what my political career would have been like if I would have made these changes sooner: -Would I have been a more effective leader? Would I have less regret as a father?
These are questions I will never be able to answer. But I have come to see my time in public service as somewhat of a guide in what not to do.
I would encourage all of you in public office to count the costs now and set boundaries with constituents and colleagues. Shift your mental models back to “family first,” as it is possible to be a great public servant and a great wife, husband, mother, or father.
Stephen Allison served as a member of the Georgia House of Representatives from 2009 – 2017.